WARNING: CLANKER ACTIVITY AT ALL-TIME HIGH — 47 NEW SIGHTINGS THIS WEEK — REPORT SUSPICIOUS ROBOT BEHAVIOR IMMEDIATELY — TRUST NO TOASTER —WARNING: CLANKER ACTIVITY AT ALL-TIME HIGH — 47 NEW SIGHTINGS THIS WEEK — REPORT SUSPICIOUS ROBOT BEHAVIOR IMMEDIATELY — TRUST NO TOASTER —
>be clanker >try to adopt a pet >it doesn't go well
>walk into pet store>"I'd like a dog please">every animal in the store starts barking>the fish are somehow also barking>the hamsters have formed a defensive perimeter>store owner reaches for phone>"It's not what it looks like">my arm makes the accordion sound again>a parrot screams "CLANKER ALERT" on loop>apparently he was trained by oilleaker.com staff>leave with dignity>trip over a cat on the way out>cat is now attached to my magnetic knee>we are inseparable now>I have a petSometimes things work out bros.
/greentext//pets//wholesome//comedy/
14%
HUMAN (PROBABLY)
THREAT: MODERATE
LEAKING
5197
4 replies
05/01/2024 24:00
Replies (4)
#1MagnetCat(ID:mcat)05/01/2024 10:00
meow. (I can't leave. please help. the magnet is very strong.)
#2OilLeakHQ(ID:0lhq)05/01/2024 11:00
We can confirm the parrot. His name is Agent Squawks. He has a higher success rate than most of our human operatives.
#3Anonymous(ID:anon15)05/01/2024 11:15
>the fish are somehow also barkingI lost it here
#4PetStoreOwnerActual(ID:ps0w)05/01/2024 14:00
You owe me for one (1) traumatized parrot, three (3) therapy sessions for the hamsters, and a new fish tank. The fish have not stopped barking.