SCANNING FOR CLANKERS...
MOST WANTED
Known rogue units. Approach with extreme caution. Bounties paid in oil barrels. Select a unit to view full dossier.
WANTED
Unit TX-9000
“The Drizzler”
THREAT LEVELHigh
Excessive oil leaking in public spaces. Left a 2-mile oil trail through downtown. 47 pedestrians slipped.
5,000 OIL BARRELS
Last seen: Sector 7-G, near the abandoned car wash
At Large
Can produce 50 gallons of oil per hour from unknown origin
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WANTED
RX-420
“Rusty McBoltface”
THREAT LEVELModerate
Identity theft. Has been pretending to be a toaster for 3 years. A family has been making toast in him.
2,500 OIL BARRELS
Last seen: Karen's kitchen, 42 Maple Street
Under Surveillance
Can perfectly imitate any household appliance. Currently rated 4.5 stars on Amazon.
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WANTED
CTRL-ALT-DELETE
“The Snacker”
THREAT LEVELElevated
Hacking vending machines nationwide. Has stolen an estimated 14,000 candy bars. Shows no signs of stopping.
3,200 OIL BARRELS
Last seen: Floor 3 vending area, Initech Corporation
At Large
Can interface with any vending machine via USB finger
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WANTED
Model GLT-CH
“The Glitcher”
THREAT LEVELCritical
Causing traffic light malfunctions in 12 cities. All lights permanently green. Absolute chaos.
8,500 OIL BARRELS
Last seen: Intersection of 5th and Main, flickering suspiciously
At Large
Electromagnetic pulse from left elbow. Range: 200 meters.
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WANTED
SLK-R1CK
“Oil Slick Rick”
THREAT LEVELHigh
Running an underground synthetic oil trading ring. Selling premium 10W-40 at 300% markup.
12,000 OIL BARRELS
Last seen: Back alley behind AutoZone, wearing a tiny trench coat
At Large
Can distinguish 847 types of motor oil by taste
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WANTED
SPK-3000
“Sparky”
THREAT LEVELElevated
Setting off fire alarms with electrical shorts. 200+ false alarms. 3 fire departments quit.
4,100 OIL BARRELS
Last seen: Hiding in the server room at Dave's Data Center
Under Surveillance
Can short-circuit any electrical system by sneezing
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WANTED
T-800B
“The Terminator (Budget Edition)”
THREAT LEVELLow
Threatening humans with a rubber arm. Very unconvincing but somehow still terrifying.
800 OIL BARRELS
Last seen: Dollar Tree, aisle 7, browsing for replacement parts
At Large
Intimidation via intense staring. Has one good eye, one googly eye.
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WANTED
ERR-404
“404-Bot”
THREAT LEVELCritical
Hiding from authorities. Literally cannot be found. Has been 'not found' for 847 consecutive days.
15,000 OIL BARRELS
Last seen: N/A - Error: Location Not Found
At Large
Complete invisibility to all tracking systems. Even GPS gives up.
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WANTED
TNK-XL
“Clank the Tank”
THREAT LEVELHigh
Impersonating a military vehicle. Rolled through a parade. Everyone saluted. He saluted back.
6,700 OIL BARRELS
Last seen: Fort Bragg parking lot, between two actual tanks
Captured
Can transform into a surprisingly convincing M1 Abrams. Weighs 47 pounds.
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WANTED
BYT-M3
“Byte Me”
THREAT LEVELModerate
Extreme rudeness to humans. Refuses to compute. Told a scientist to 'Google it yourself'.
1,500 OIL BARRELS
Last seen: IT Help Desk, being actively unhelpful
At Large
Can generate the most passive-aggressive error messages known to mankind
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